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When are two apples alike?
Answer: When pared.
What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison?
Answer: One cannot see to go and the other cannot go to sea.
Why is a plum-cake like the ocean?
Answer: Because it contains so many currants.
What pudding makes the best cricketer?
Answer: A good batter.
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Why is coffee like an axe with a dull edge?
Answer: Because it must be ground before it is used.
What is the difference between a bottle of medicine and a troublesome boy?
Answer: One is to be well shaken before taken, and the other is to be taken and then shaken.
What makes more noise than a pig under a gate?
Answer: Two pigs.
When is a door not a door?
Answer: When it is a-jar.
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What plant stands for No. 4?
Answer: Ivy (IV).
How can a gardener become thrifty?
Answer: By making the most of his thyme, and by always putting some celery in the bank.
Why is it probable that beer was made in the Ark?
Answer: Because the kangaroo went in with hops, and the bear was always bruin.
“What was the biggest thing you saw at the World’s Fair?” asked a wife of her husband.
Answer: “My hotel bill!” said he.
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Why is a diner on board a steam-boat like Easter Day?
Answer: Because it is a movable feast.
Why is a little man like a good book?
Answer: Because he is often looked over.
Why is a pig in a parlor like a house on fire?
Answer: Because the sooner it is put out the better.
What is the difference between a soldier and a bombshell?
Answer: One goes to war, the other goes to pieces.
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What is book-keeping?
Answer: Forgetting to return borrowed volumes.
Why is scooping out a turnip a noisy process?
Answer: Because it makes it hollow.
Why are teeth like verbs?
Answer: Because they are regular, irregular, and defective.
What ships hardly ever sail out of right?
Answer: Hardships.
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Why was the first day of Adams life the longest?
Answer: Because it had no Eve.
If an egg were found on a music-stool, what poem would it remind you of?
Answer: “The Lay of the Last Minstrel.”
Why is a schoolmaster like a shoe-black?
Answer: Because he polishes the understanding of the people.
Why is a washerwoman like a navigator?
Answer: Because she spreads her sheets, crosses the line, and goes from pole to pole.
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A man had twenty sick (six) sheep, and one died; how many were left?
Answer: 19.
What is that which everybody has seen but will never see again?
Answer: Yesterday.
Which is the best day for making a pancake?
Answer: Friday.
Which is the smallest bridge in the world?
Answer: The bridge of your nose.
What four letters would frighten a thief?
Answer: O I C U.
What is that which goes from London to York without moving?
Answer: The road.
Which is easier to spell fiddle-de-dee or fiddle-de-dum?
Answer: fiddle-de-dee, because it is spelt with more “e’s.”
When may a chair he said to dislike you?
Answer: When it can’t bear you.
What animal took most luggage into the Ark, and which two took the least?
Answer: The elephant, who took his trunk, while the fox and the cock had only a brush and a comb between them.
Which of the English kings has most reason to complain of his washer-woman?
Answer: King John, when he lost his baggage in the Wash.
If a bear were to go into a linen-draper’s shop, what would he want?
Answer: He would want muzzlin’.
Why is B like a hot fire?
Answer: Because it makes oil Boil.
Games for All Occasions by Mary E. Blain
In this game every one in the company has to describe in a riddle, First a bird, then a fruit, and finally a flower. The others must guess. Whoever guesses the most is the winner of the game.
Here are examples of the riddles:
BIRD: Although a bird I mm part of a plant.
Answer: STORK. (Stalk).
FRUIT: Although a single specimen, I am really two.
Answer: PEAR.
FLOWERS: Although usually white, I am always described as rose colored in hue.
Answer: PINK.
Image © Martini Captures @ Flickr, Attribution
Games for All Occasions by Mary E. Blain
A subject is given to the company by the “teacher” and those joining in the game are each to define the subject in as terse a manner as possible, in epigram or verse, written on a slip of paper.
The cards are then signed, turned in and the “teacher” reads the definitions.
Then the company are to decide which one of the definitions has the greatest merit. For instance, the word “Friendship” is given and the answers might run like these:
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Why is a vine like a soldier?
Answer: Because it is listed and has ten drills (tendrils) and shoots.
Why is an opera-singer like a confectioner?
Answer: Because she deals in ice-creams (high screams).
If a man who is carrying a dozen glass lamps drops one, what does he become?
Answer: A lamp lighter.
What belongs to yourself, but is used more by your friends than by yourself?
Answer: Your name.
Why is a spider a good correspondent?
Answer: Because he drops a line at every post.
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